机场

身在机场。我发现能够坐着这样观察不同的人，事，物的感觉我很喜欢。 :-)

Heart of a servant

For the past week, i realize that how dreadful i feel just on the thought of serving others, i engaged in dreadfness, felt tired, just simply on the thought of serving God serving my family, serving people around me. I complaint in my little mind that why am i the one to have to do this? Why do i have to bear these burdens? Little did i know at that time that my heart attitude was skewed.
It's almost like in a sudden instant, that i realize that i lost the joy of serving.
I wondered why.. And finally i learnt that it is out of my selfish heart that i dont want to serve. I feel lazy, i feel tired, i engage in self-pitiness, i feel uncomfortable, and allow myself to drown in the blackhole of emotions. All these just to escape ththe hardwork, the uncomfortable feeling of serving others. 'I just want to serve myself' that's clearly what i am trying to say.
After being convicted of my own laziness and selfishness, i repented and asked God to remind me of my identity and of His character.
And sure enough, God graciously reminded me of who He is and who I am in Him. I forgot that He is a good good God, i forgot that He is a good good Father. I forgot that i was made out of love and i am dearly loved. I forgot that i am free from sin and i no longer have to be a slave to sin. Yet out of convenience, out of comfort, i chose to revert to my old ways. Just like the Israelites, after coming out from egypt, they forgot of God's greatness and how God heard them when they cry out to God for deliverence. Memories often put a magic spell on itself. Mayb its to protect us from further harm, mayb its just the way it is. But sometimes and many times, we often forget the pain that we once went through during those seasons of life. And hence we reminisce and wish that we can go back to the past, especially when we are going through even the slightest suffering at that time..
And so.. I realize how selfish i have been and how blessed i was.. How dwelling in self pitiness become my escape yet not realizing it is eating me alive..
I forgot about the hope i have, i forgot about the love i have got, i forgot how much better and liberated one can be by living in the light and not the dark. So, i hope and pray, that i will continue to live in the light and live courageously, remembering God's greatness of the past the present and holding hope for the future. I am with hope, i am loved and tremendously blessed. Be content and cherish what you have. :)

today is a happy happy day!