：）

"Do not let fear contaminate your relationships". 
- It's okay if u dont live bravely, but it wont be okay if you dont live courageously. :)
- 过去的谁对谁错，都不重要了。如果还要去计较那些谁对谁错，你只会这样，没完没了地继续纠缠下去。

绿，这是你给我的启发。谢谢。:)

Sometimes the most insignificant people are the most significant in your life. :)

给远朋的一封信

绿，

不懂你在那边过得好不好。虽然这么多年没见了，但我没想到，永远再也见不到你。今天，突然很想你。想你那温柔的语气，和你在我中学生涯所留下的美好回忆。谢谢你，，让我能在不熟悉的环境，找到熟悉感。也谢谢你的温柔与体贴。你，还在拉二胡吧？：）


－想你的今天－

Hope

I guess I am not a person who shares my problems with others completely when I face one, often times, covering up what really and truly matters to me for I fear shame, fear what other people might think of me, fear of not being accepted? It took me a while to come back to the trust I once left, the hope I once had, as i was so dissapponted in myself, so ashamed. but it is coming back now, slowly, but strongly. :)

Book of Romans

Just wanting to record and remember the treasures I found in Romans
It is an amazing book I must say. It depicts and engraved God's mercy, his grace, his just, many of his attributes that wraps up in love so deep into the hearts of those who read it ( I believe the Holy Spirit is at work :)) at first I thought it would be a scary book, but the more I read it the more I am melted into His grace and mercy, a grace that I can't fully understand and a mercy that is so deep. The more I do understand though, the warmer I felt and become. Paul's humility was highlighted as well. Giving back the glory to wear it belongs and not taking to himself is so amazing. It is very well as what it is written In Romans - " for everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the scriptures we might have hope." This very truth sinks in my heart as I read Romans. I couldn't help but be in see of the wonders and depth of the love of God. Contrasting the smallness of me and my world, yet enlarging my universe.

Still.

I was once lost

But now I found

But after I found

I forgot.
I was lost.

I kept quiet. for a long while.

because I thought u were gone.

I thought u were no different from others'

Who punish and leave.

I thought I was no different, from where I begin.

So I kept quiet.

I was wrong. I am glad I was wrong..

For your love never left, it was me who chose to leave.

It was my finite mind who could not contain the majesty of your love.

It was my foolishness who thought I knew better

And it was my stubbornness to refuse to listen.

Lord,

Your mercy and grace is indeed, something that none of us can fully comprehend

unless through your wisdom..

and it is through your wisdom, your grace, your mercy, and your love..

That I can find freedom. in the midst of my lost.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6Fw8DgvTQA

Lesson learnt :)

My second handmade bracelet! :D 

Lesson learnt: Can only do one at a time. #Thou shalt not be greedy. :P #

Can I?

Waking up at 3 am and have a sudden thought... How would it be like if I stop conforming to what other Christians or unspoken standard and rules set by other Christians and the church but start loving? I wonder, how would it be like if right or wrong wasn't so important but have loved or not becomes the focus? Slowly, I have placed my identity on doing what is right or wrong, if I do wrong, I felt awfully bad about myself (which is normal to a certain extend) but I felt it has been hitting my core when I do right, I felt closer to God. Was it suppose to be that way? I wonder.. I never know.. that this has chained me secretly.. to wanna gain approval from God, to "please Him"? Secretly think that he would punish me just because I did something wrong even when I repented.. It can be so immobilizing don't you think?

Love.. what does it look like without the background noises that flooded my vision? Stop pursuing right-ness and start loving. Would like to try that out. :)

Romans 8:6 The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace. <3 p="">

Filter

Suddenly thought of something..

I wonder what is behind all this bo jiu-ness and feeling left out..  I learnt that friends will stay, and friends who don't value you as friends which leads to all sorts of bo jiu-ness, leaving you out, are not called friends. It is a great filter anyway, to know who are your true friends and who are not. :)


:)

new song :)

曾经 熟悉的一个人
怎么不存在

别人 熟悉的两个人
怎么只有空白

不曾熟悉的那些人
被逼着 点头， 无奈

有时候，我只想做回自己。

只因为，我沉默
并不代表 我不理

我用沉默言语
你听不见 不代表
这样并不可以

这世界 谁用规则
捆绑 这情绪

有时候， 我只想做回自己。

词曲：卢业淇

想写这首歌的源头来自与最近的一些感想。。
曾经熟悉的一个人，怎么不存在：
是在我回想起小时候总是一个人，很自在地画画，埋在我的工作坊里，做手工，玩我爱玩的东西，一个人，从不觉得是件什么奇怪的事。

别人熟悉的两个人怎么只有空白
我似乎很不了解别人所想要有的爱情，怎么是一个陪伴的工具

不曾熟悉的那些人被逼着点头，无奈
感觉，有时候，明明就没有很外向，但因为社会总是觉得热情的人好一些，所以大家隐瞒了好多真实的自己，在人群中逼出了不真实的笑容。

只因为，我沉默

并不代表 我不理

我用沉默言语

你听不见 不代表

这样并不可以

很想反抗这样的逻辑，

个性文静，不是个罪

朋友不多，并不代表有问题

所以就这么写了

这世界 谁用规则

捆绑 这情绪

我倒很好奇是谁让外向的人成了模范生

变成看齐的对象

因为曾经记得，自己并不是很外向的人，直到如今，想说一个人，是否很奇怪。

所以也不知道，从什么时候开始，总觉得，要去多认识人，专做这些很不自然的事。

只想提醒自己，一个人无罪。 

Count-sir-link

It was heartbreaking.. the session yesterday afternoon.. This meet up with this lady.. Firstly, i felt that I wasnt being understood, often felt that she focused on things that are not my focus and reason to see her.. I felt that she didnt really "listen' to what I have to say.. but jump into conclusions whenever possible.. I felt misunderstood, judge, hurt and brought up unnecessary emotions that is just unresolved and left hanging over there.. I was really upset.. I went up to her for help.. but it pushed me further away from what I want to improve.. it only confirms my negative experience as she adds on to it. I am really upset with that.. Furthermore, I am being labeled as .. "coming from the world".. and so being "worldly".. yea.. true.. I am from the world.. I never expect to felt so condemned.. and when I started crying.. she said, have I talked about things you refuse to talk about.. was she listening? was she taking the time to know me? all I felt was I should be doing this and that.. its a struggle isnt it.. when all these things are not helping.. It really made me want to leave the church.. just leave.. I am tired.. Nonetheless, I know Christ died on the cross for my sins, and He loves me deeply.. He hears my cry and full of mercy and grace.. This experience i guess, makes me want to make that change, that change at least for the church? Thats why i must stay.. Be the change and not be passive about it.. I hope when i start my career next time, I would always remember this experience, and to remind myself not to let anyone feel judged and condemned.. because that's the worst violation of trust you can ever do to someone.. and i was there..



Matthew 9:13 But go and learn what this means: 'I desire mercy, not sacrifice.' For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners."

God is love. :)

Rawr..

They say children's emotions are raw... But I believe it is still raw when we grow up, just that we learn to put on make up. As thick as possible. ;)

Love this song

Love this song~
Just cause it is so real..
Love it when people are being honest and real..
Why hide?
Maybe I should start compiling a folder or archive of songs that are so so meaningful~
music therapy anyone?

;)

Seasons of love

Today, I believe there are seasons for friendship.. some stayed longer but many others might just be passing by. I had this thing with two people for a long while.. it has been like a battle. I take the initiative to do certain things but at the end of the day, things have to come to an end. Today, I received a message and it broke my heart completely, and so I left the group chat. But to my surprise, after a heartbreaking cry, I actually felt better for leaving the group. Some thing just tells me that maybe I just o not belong there, and have been expecting the wrong things from the people. Because that is not where I belong at least for now. Why do I have to pressure myself so much to fit in? Why do I have to always find somewhere to fit in? I learnt that group identity is where I got my identity. It has been my idol and I dont want to strive for it anymore. I will struggle for now, but I know He will pull me through. Things will come and go, people come and go in this life. Only One thing remains, and that is the One.

LOVE.

Plan v.s. time

We often "plan" to get into a relationship at a certain age, get married at a certain time. 

But can we really "plan" to meet the right person,

 "plan" to fall in love or

 even "plan" to fall out of it? 

- time is ticking -

踮起腳尖 hong pei yu - one of my favourite! :)

作詞：小寒

作曲：蔡健雅

舞鞋　穿了洞‭　‬裂了縫‭　‬　預備迎接一個夢
OK‭ ‬繃‭　‬遮住痛　要把蒼白都填充 勇氣惶恐‭
我要用哪一種 面對他　一百零一分笑容
等待‭　‬的時空‭　‬有點重　重得時針走不動
無影蹤‭　‬他始終‭　不曾降臨生命中
我好想懂　誰放我手心裡捧 幸福啊　依然長長的人龍

想踮起腳尖找尋愛 遠遠的存在
我來不及‭　‬說聲嗨 影子就從人海暈開

才踮起腳尖的期待 只怕被虧待
我夠不著還‭　‬微笑忍耐 等你回過頭來‭

哪天　撲了空‭　‬折了衷　祈禱終於起作用
一陣風‭　‬吹來夢　卻又敗在難溝通
轉載來自 我終於懂　怎麼人們的臉孔
想到愛　寂寞眼眶就轉紅

 想踮起腳尖找尋愛 遠遠的存在
我來不及‭　‬說聲嗨 影子就從人海暈開

才踮起腳尖的期待 只怕被虧待
我夠不著還‭　‬微笑忍耐 等你回過頭來‭
 你會回過頭來 回過頭來

想踮起腳尖找尋愛 遠遠的存在 我來不及‭　‬
說聲嗨 影子就從人海暈開

才踮起腳尖的期待 只怕被虧待
我夠不著還‭　‬微笑忍耐 等你回過頭來 

Perth :)

Chun tian :)

只因为我喜欢颜色。：）

画里的女孩

今天，遇到这么一位女孩。。

好像在画里走出来的那样，东方的脸颊，可是却有着漫画里的蓝眼睛。

我好像，很肯定自己在哪一个画页里看到她，

于是，我寻找。。

旋转门 - 很喜欢她的歌词 ：）

作詞：申名利
作曲：張士堂
電視原聲帶(2011)

 旋轉門(謝沛恩 Aggie)

不說話 以為 沉默能讓時光走的緩慢

不想念 以為 感傷是生活中的小習慣

 一個個 心結 忽然間自己解出了答案
一個個 舊友 疏於聯絡也許已有新的伴

我順著時針在青春裡面打轉
一雙手推開時光的門 忘記了關
多少日子如快門一閃
到幾年後 一個鏡頭就切換

我逆著時針到回憶裡頭參觀
一圈圈迴圈出不同的 情緒片段
放任熱淚圍困住心酸
想說成熟 要用多少個領悟交換

快樂或 孤單 一天的時光用另一天填滿
轉載來自
凌晨或 傍晚 一樣的天色掠過晚歸的站
夢裡 那個人 遁入另一個夢為誰輾轉
我們的 故事 也落入俗套一去不返

我順著時針在青春裡面打轉
一雙手推開時光的門 忘記了關
多少日子如快門一閃
到幾年後 一個鏡頭就切換

我逆著時針到回憶裡頭參觀
一圈圈迴圈出不同的 情緒片段
放任熱淚圍困住心酸      想說成熟 要用多少領悟交換

 

 

                                

Psalms 27 - Security

Psalms 27

The LORD is my light and my salvation ---

whom shall I fear

The LORD is the stronghold of my life ---

of whom shall I be afraid?

When evil men advance against me

to devour my flesh

when my enemies and my foes attack me,

they will stumble and fall.

Though an army besiege me,

my heart will not fear;

though war break out against me,

even then will I be confident.

One thing I ask of the LORD,

this is what I seek;

that I may dwell in the house of the LORD

all the days of my life,

to gaze upon the beauty of the LORD

and to seek him in his temple.

For in the day of trouble

he will keep me safe in his dwelling

he will hide me in the shelter of his tabernacle

and set me high upon a rock.

Then my head will be exalted

above the enemies who surround mel

at his tabernacle will I sacrifice with 

shouts of joyl

I will sing and make music to the LORD.

Hear my voice when I call, O LORD;

be merciful to me and answer me.

My heart says of you, "Seek his face!"

Your face, LORD, I will seek.

Do not hide your face from me,

do not turn your servant away in anger;

you have been my helper.

Do not reject me or forsake me,

O God my Saviour.

Though my father and mother forsake me,

the LORD will receive me.

Teach me your way, O LORD;

lead me in a straight path

because of my oppressors.

Do not hand me over to the desire of my foes,

for false witnesses rise up against me,

breathing out violence.

I am still confident of this:

I will see the goodness of the LORD

in the land of the living,

Wait for the LORD;

be strong and take heart

and wait for the LORD.

五彩缤纷的困扰之误解。

蓝天，简单而晴朗，有时却晴朗得暴躁。偶尔白的出现缓和了它的情绪，平抚了它的思绪。冷。灰的到来，冻走了蓝，污染了白。咦？是污染吗？还是解救？只有白知道。红，嘲笑白的痴，渴望蓝的静。却不了。蓝还得靠白来支撑哪！误解，可有可无的深啊。绿，却在这时悄悄地走进画里，又悄悄地在蓝里周转。殊不知，自己是蓝与黄共舞的答案。就这样，他们在困扰中的误解，继续五彩缤纷地盘旋着。

-- 淇。


真舒服，写完这篇后，把情绪都抒发出来了。。 真好。:) 
以后要多提醒自己，别勉强了，作回你自己吧。你是卢业淇的艺术家。:)