Short hair!

Wuh!! finally! I cut my hair! yes, it's short now! This is a reminder to self. This month, I need to learn to accept myself for who I am, good or bad, everything. Just accept. Therefore, there's this plan:

1. Wear contact lens for at least a month. why?: to learn to accept myself (or more like my face). lolz!! be it good or bad, pretty or ugly, whatever others say."hey, u look better with glasses or hey, u look better without glasses or why sudd so conscious, whatever comments" Just accept who I am, and enjoy how God has created me, and my features. There are many other pretty girls out there, and I need to accept that this is who I am, and to know that everyone is special and different and beautiful in their own way. So am I. :)

2. Short hair. To learn to accept myself despite my outer appearance or any circumstances. To let go of the desire to please others.

This is going to be a process of learning to be humble, yet building up my identity. To learn to embrace other people's beauty, to learn to embrace my weaknesses and strength, to learn to embrace failure, to learn to celebrate others successes. To learn to forgive. To learn to love.

Jia you loo ye qi! :D

A reminder to self. :))

"You can enjoy this same freedom in your own life. Living in freedom—and allowing others to do the same—is a healthy and positive approach to life that pleases God.

We must also learn that we can be extraordinarily happy while living an ordinary, everyday life. Expecting life to be one long series of exciting events is setting yourself up for disappointment—and that’ll steal your joy! So learn to be content with life as it is.

With God's help and your determination, you can learn to be happy and enjoy every single day of your God-given life. Start your days by saying, "This is the day the Lord has made. I willrejoice and be glad in it. Good morning, Lord!"" - Joyce Myer.

my holiday review 2012

And so, this marks the end of my holiday. :) well, technically I still have one more week, but school reopens next week. ah.. with a heavy heart I am finally gonna do a review of this summer holiday.

So here it goes...

It started of with me landing in Kuala Lumpur Malaysia. When the pilot announced:" to all visitors, welcome to Malaysia, to all Malaysians, welcome home :')." My, although it has been three months since then, I still feel the goosebumps that I got from that. Such a warm fuzzy feeling. :) After that, I stayed at jie jie's place for a week~ awh.. it's good catching up with them, just so relaxing~ but i remembered that I was reading this book:"Living Beyond your feelings" by Joyce Myer. There's an important finding that is found that is mentioned in the book. which is. something about forgiveness and the toxic in our body~ and other things. ah~ too bad I can't remember exactly what it is, but basically it's telling us that if we don't forgive, it's hard to heal. Throughout that week, my family came to KL!! :D when I first saw ah po, I was actually quite.. 0.0 what happened to her teeth? and she's aged.. :( haiz.. I couldn't imagine...:( but oh well, everything was good after a while. SO! our trip to SINGAPORE!! or more like auniversalstudiotrip! Oh yes, being one of the cowards, I went with a bunch of cowards, but it was great company~ we enjoyed the photo takings and craziness~

Universal studios!

Ah po is trying to run away. LOLZ!!!

After that we went to JB~ wow, honestly, I can feel a very heavy bondage over that place. No wonder ah po say: even the air is diff. LOLZ!!! from sg to JB. But the warmth of the people's there. But really, it's like two opposite worlds. It's eye-opening. One of the highlights of the JB trip was the two little girls. I was just online-ing I suppose that day, then they came, and start talking and telling about their family backgrounds. It's amazing that how, these two "little adults" are telling their family stories. and when we tot that children know ntg. But they do. And there's an impact. These two girls are indeed really bright girls. So we started playing, jumping around talking, (well, I think they did most of the talking, hahaz!!) but it's really entertaining and heart warming to hear them talk about their dreams, they performed their compositions, danced, laughed, angry-ed HAHAHAZ! they are just so adorable. And they even say that they wanna come to Penang during chinese new year. I wonder will they still rmb me when we meet again, but more importantly, despite of their family background, I hope that they grow healthily and lovingly. I hope that one day, they will tell me their stories about their encounter with God. Ah~ this makes me miss them now. So after the JB trip, we went back to KL.. and woops, had a miscommunication with jie. :( was really stress and stuff. I duno ever since I came bac from JB, it's like.. it has been really.. heavy.. but yea.. So had a sad time, but still okay, because of that, gt to talk to mei a bit more. I really enjoyed mei's company. AH~ I miss mei now~ LOLZ!! but mei is such a mature girl. I will never forget that incident. Where we fall asleep, but yet, I gt the blanket and she din even took it from me the whole night.. 0.0 it's so cold! her hand was freezing.. ah~ that mei.. Children from broken families.. I hope more love can be tranfered and conveyed to them~ I really pray that mei, kai and ton, can grow up in love, grow up with a security that they know that God loves them. Mei, I hope that she can live in security that she don't have to worry that she's not meeting up to the standards of others and don't have to worry that she's not being perfect. I pray that she can enjoy more of her life, and to enjoy herself, knowing that she's a gift by herself. I pray that she will open up to more people and most importantly to find her true identity, so that she can live a joyful and purposeful life. To Kai, the same goes to him, but I pray, that he knows that he's an awesome kid, as much as he's not being attended to, his heart and kindness, behind his seemingly mischievious behaviour is what defines him even more. I pray that he knows that he is deeply loved and he is not an accident in this world. I pray for protection over this boy and that he can grow up in security and to use his gift, he is a leader. to use his gift for the glory of God. I pray for ah ton, that he can be himself, there's lots of hurts and lots of healing needed to be done in his life, I pray that he will know who he is and know that he is healed and can be healed, know that he can live in security and love. I pray for this family that God's protection and favour be upon them.

And so, after that, I returned to Penang with firefly! LOLZ!! Christmas party! :P finally got to meet junnie!! :D and met another pretty girl, yi ying~ :D

Christmas party at Jun's place

Christmas dinner~ ECF :)

Am really blessed by this christmas party that was organized by Jun. It was all about thanksgiving. It showed me the importance to honour and cherish the people around you. We need to let people know that they are important to us instead of keeping in our hearts. "unexpressed gratitude is ingratitude" and so she shared this quote that night. It's just a very warm night. with laughter, fun, relaxing atmosphere. :) After Christmas, I guess.. it's time for the next Singapore trip. LOLZ!! Oo!! and before that, something amazing happened! my mom went to church on new years eve!~ and honestly, am glad that she's really open about it. :))

before going to Singapore, I read this book, called Living as a Christian by A.W. Tozer. and it was amazing.. 0.0 my gosh~ the hurts from the past was just wiped away, and as Elaine said, I think it's really a breakthrough for me, especially in the area of relationships. Was carrying a lot of bitterness and hurts but I finally understood what it meant by only God can heal. it's a freedom that I've never experienced, so free, so full of joy to be a Christian.

So, Singapore trip was really AWESOME. stayed with two crazy people. and LoLZ!! it was just lots of laughter, encouragement, happening~ and got to catch up with lots of people that I really wanna catch up with. ah~ the troubles and frustrations of life start kicking in their lives and we all grow up eh. All I can say is, how I wish I can transfer this joy to them. My camera died during that trip. oh wells~ and I got to see a different world, an "atas' world. LOLZ!! that I use to.. duno, dislike ,mayb? but it's good to see things through a different view. :) went on singapore flyer and it hit me that.. wow.. Malaysia's awesome. Malaysia's really blessed. Singapore is really out of their people's hard work. But Malaysia is just so rich in our resources. ah~ more about this trip is written in my journal. Go back n read it loo ye qi, if u wanna recall more about the trip. LoLZ!!! Met two cute boys in the swimming pool at fred's place. Really made me realize, how boys really look up to their father. There's a glow in the boys face when he talked about his father, how his father is the champion or state representative of this and that. Like a proud son talking about his father. lolz!!! I guess, everyone wants to be heard. :) And so, here are some photos of the singapore trip! :)

I conquered my fear of heights! only on that day. lolz!!!!

I forgot to mention about Cheryl as well, great catching up with her after so many years! actually this holiday have been a great time of catching up and sharing lives~ and going around, conquring fear, many eye opening moments~ :)

Miss hsu and both pei juns~ lolz!!

After the SG trip, Kristin and Gen came to Penang. Am really glad that they came, it was just an awesome night to get to know Kristin better in Straits Quay and a great time to get to know Gen as well~ And I get to be a tourist of Penang myself! got to go around and see the beauty of Penang with great company. :) I remember when Gen and I were in a coffeshop trying nutmeg juice, this friendly uncle talked to us and.. ah.. once again.. uncle said he has depression. to be able to tell me that, uncle must be quite desperate d. I really pray that uncle be free from that. And I pray for protection for uncle. Honestly, I really don;t know what to do when I heard about that and it's kinda saddening when u know about it but u can do ntg about it. But I think I'm glad I took psychology afterall.

Tin tin!

Gen!

DONG DONG QIANG!! CNY!!! ah~ I had the laziest CNY of my life. felt so sleepy all the time.. just sleep.. eat.. my gosh.. no energy to play with them. but am glad that we did. First cheongsam!! lolz!!! we played an old time game! hmm.. what's that called? DONKEY! then that mei.. so funny!!! LOLZ!!!! keep warning us that ice cream man is NOT DONKEY! lolz!!!! and monopoly deal. that kai is sure good at this. he's really a smart guy. :)

NING IS BACK IN THE TOWN!!.. :D Ning and Junnie are the highlight of this holiday~ created so many memories and laughter and fun! there's nasi lemak night, there's nasi lemak eating, BJ hiking, cycling with peng, there's performing our songs, there's mee sotong, there's bak kut teh, there's climbing up to kerachut!! *my fave. spot.* there's bullying wen jie, there's balik pulau, there's QB with santi they all, there's yam cha, there's going to lg, lunch, there's sunset swimming, dancing, encouraging each other, sharing our hearts, talking bout funny memories. All sorts of things. My gosh, it just takes the right people to go with that makes so much fun and not only fun, but genuinity of our friendship is there. Am really glad that they are here. and so glad to have them in my life. :)) am so gona miss them all.. all people that I've met and really enjoyed the presence of every single person, friends, family in Penang. Even though in between, I have some conflicts in the family, but still, that doesn't make me wanna leave or quit, or anything, because I remmeber telling Jun, that this kind of stress, is still ntg. I'd rather have this than the one in adelaide. lolz!!! It's a platform to grow and it made me realize, Love, is a commitment, not only to your partner, but to your family, to everyone. So, shudn't give up and really la, this is ntg too big or too serious anyway.

Ning!!! balik pulau ftw! :D

Junnie and peng! :D

Ooo! and FINALLY!!! in 2012! i manage to achieve something that I've always wanted!!!! I manage to make PAT TONG KOH!! my gosh!!! :D so happy la~

I went down to KL with hwang before clinton leave. and my gosh.. those kids are just so cute. I remmeber one of them actually said: "I know I'm naughty, I wanna change." HAHAHAHZ!! Got to visit BOLD as well, and really, it made me realize and reconsider.Whether I shud take counselling? or pursue music therapy. Hmm....

Went to my first street evangelism that night. Honestly, I was rather fearful and something unpleasant happened just right before I leave to go. But, my.. it's really just about making friends with the street people. Can see so much peace, love and joy in the people that are serving. It's just a sincerity and genuinity to wanna make friends and be friends with the street people. So much love. I remember this uncle telling me his story. He is a drug addict. if it was me last time, I wud be so scared. but after talking to him. He's just like another friendly uncle, who is terdesak by circumstances of life. He's actually such a kind and loving person. He quitted his job just because he don't wanna cause any accidents to others and don;t want to hurt others cz he knows that he's ageing and to do his job, he needs to focus. But because of quitting his job, he is jobless and moneyless. which leads him to this path. The community that I use to fear and despise, has revealed its amazing love that cannot be found in anywhere that night. They look out for each other and sincerely cared. As much as they are homeless. Having said that reflecting on the community that I'm living now. Have I sincerely cared enough and loved the people around me just as how this uncle has loved? Thank you uncle, for your love.

Sometimes, it really hit me that, we have so much, yet we want more, and more is never enough. Striving for popularity, striving for money, striving for whatever desires. we only want more.

This holiday, I've seen love. I've seen what true love is. I've seen the ugliness of what that is not love. The selfishness in me. I've seen life. I've seen joy. I've seen freedom. and I've seen bondage. Thank you God, for in this holiday. I've seen You working in lives. I've seen your love and goodness. I've seen love.

Other photos! ^^

(will prob upload them when I'm back in adelaide. :) with better internet. lolz!! prob will see them in the next post. :D)

P.S. The things that I've achieved in this holiday. as an encouragement to self.

1. Danced. remember one lesson in particular that hey, I can enjoy myself and I actually felt beautiful. I'm a creation of God and I have a beauty that God created specially in me. Thank you Lord. :)

2. Wrote songs. There's no reason for me to stop writing songs just cause I think that people won't like it. But God's standard is different. There's no reason for me not to enjoy this gift that God has given despite what others say/ comment. :)

3. Pat tong koh. Ah~ finallY~ :')

4. Practiced a piano piece. Waiting. Hey! I can do it! :D I can finish playing a whole piece! :)

5. Recorded saving all my love for you. Yes loo ye qi, u did it. :)

6. Teach children. You actually liked it don't u ;)

7. Visit old school. Am glad that u've let it go. :) and finally returned the coat. HAHAZ!!

8. St. evangelism. Am glad u took the courage to just do it. God has used these people to really convict you and show you what love is. :)

9. Kerachut. After two years ah~ finally u went back. Somemore there's so many crabs! :D

10. Finish reading two books. lolz! well, at least it's an accomplishment. and glad that u've learnt so many things. :)

11. Swimming. After so many years! :D

12. ......Will update more when remember. :).....

And.. my designed brochure

well, not this of course. lolz!!

It's this:

More Old Drawings :)

My design assignment

Salvation + Sanctification

Just cause I'm lazy to hold a pen today, I've decided to type my thoughts out. I've always wondered.. How does this work? as God promised that He will not let us go.. but yet.. we are walking in darkness and not walking in the light when we sinned.. we are not in fellowship with God.. but yet, we are saved? Wuh~ this whole "am I saved" question have got me confused for a while.

1Tim 1:19 says: Cling to your faith in Christ, and keep your conscience clear, for some people have deliberately violated their consciences; as a result, their faith has been shipwrecked.

It got me thinking. as the bible says, Romans 10:9 "That if you confess with your mouth, "Jesus is Lord," and believe in your heart that God raised him from the dead, you will be saved." So in a way, we are saved when we believe in the truth of who Jesus is and of what Jesus has done on the cross for us. The trick question is.. if we stray away.. and disobey God, are we still saved?

I guess the answer is in 1Tim. God looks at the heart. Faith is a very important component in our Christian walk. We are all imperfect beings and God knows that, we can't pay the debt we owe Him and that's why He sacrificed His Son for us. So, why as Christians, when we know that we are not saved by works, strive to "work" for salvation after we've accepted Christ? But yet, James says: Faith without deeds are dead. :X Wooooo~

Back to 1 Tim. I guess He explained very clearly here. As we deliberately violated our conscience, and continuosly walk in a different path than the path that God wants us to walk, our faith will be in serious danger. It's a matter of the heart after all. And what we do reflects our heart. Do we still value Jesus as our Lord and Saviour? Do we still acknowledge God's sovereignty? If we continuously and deliberately violate our conscience and disobey our Father.

It is not what we "do", or whatever sin that is big enough to cause us to lose our salvation. But it is more of whether we still acknowledge and still have Christ as our Lord in our heart.s A reflection of our hearts I would say. Therefore, condemnation is not something that God ones, because condemnation and guilt and shame is saying that "hey, I've done something so so so so so wrong that this is unforgivable." God has already mentioned that he has forgiven our sins and we are forgiven as long as we have Christ in our hearts and are willing to change. We know who rule in our lives.

Condemnation is putting our works before God's grace and mercy.

This world is not revolved around us. It is God.

Ephesians 1: 2 May God our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ give you grace and peace.

Google

love today's google's picture~~ :P