Hope

I guess I am not a person who shares my problems with others completely when I face one, often times, covering up what really and truly matters to me for I fear shame, fear what other people might think of me, fear of not being accepted? It took me a while to come back to the trust I once left, the hope I once had, as i was so dissapponted in myself, so ashamed. but it is coming back now, slowly, but strongly. :)

Book of Romans

Just wanting to record and remember the treasures I found in Romans
It is an amazing book I must say. It depicts and engraved God's mercy, his grace, his just, many of his attributes that wraps up in love so deep into the hearts of those who read it ( I believe the Holy Spirit is at work :)) at first I thought it would be a scary book, but the more I read it the more I am melted into His grace and mercy, a grace that I can't fully understand and a mercy that is so deep. The more I do understand though, the warmer I felt and become. Paul's humility was highlighted as well. Giving back the glory to wear it belongs and not taking to himself is so amazing. It is very well as what it is written In Romans - " for everything that was written in the past was written to teach us, so that through endurance and the encouragement of the scriptures we might have hope." This very truth sinks in my heart as I read Romans. I couldn't help but be in see of the wonders and depth of the love of God. Contrasting the smallness of me and my world, yet enlarging my universe.

Still.

I was once lost

But now I found

But after I found

I forgot.
I was lost.

I kept quiet. for a long while.

because I thought u were gone.

I thought u were no different from others'

Who punish and leave.

I thought I was no different, from where I begin.

So I kept quiet.

I was wrong. I am glad I was wrong..

For your love never left, it was me who chose to leave.

It was my finite mind who could not contain the majesty of your love.

It was my foolishness who thought I knew better

And it was my stubbornness to refuse to listen.

Lord,

Your mercy and grace is indeed, something that none of us can fully comprehend

unless through your wisdom..

and it is through your wisdom, your grace, your mercy, and your love..

That I can find freedom. in the midst of my lost.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=O6Fw8DgvTQA

Lesson learnt :)

My second handmade bracelet! :D 

Lesson learnt: Can only do one at a time. #Thou shalt not be greedy. :P #

Can I?

Waking up at 3 am and have a sudden thought... How would it be like if I stop conforming to what other Christians or unspoken standard and rules set by other Christians and the church but start loving? I wonder, how would it be like if right or wrong wasn't so important but have loved or not becomes the focus? Slowly, I have placed my identity on doing what is right or wrong, if I do wrong, I felt awfully bad about myself (which is normal to a certain extend) but I felt it has been hitting my core when I do right, I felt closer to God. Was it suppose to be that way? I wonder.. I never know.. that this has chained me secretly.. to wanna gain approval from God, to "please Him"? Secretly think that he would punish me just because I did something wrong even when I repented.. It can be so immobilizing don't you think?

Love.. what does it look like without the background noises that flooded my vision? Stop pursuing right-ness and start loving. Would like to try that out. :)

Romans 8:6 The mind of sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace. <3 p="">

Filter

Suddenly thought of something..

I wonder what is behind all this bo jiu-ness and feeling left out..  I learnt that friends will stay, and friends who don't value you as friends which leads to all sorts of bo jiu-ness, leaving you out, are not called friends. It is a great filter anyway, to know who are your true friends and who are not. :)


:)

new song :)

曾经 熟悉的一个人
怎么不存在

别人 熟悉的两个人
怎么只有空白

不曾熟悉的那些人
被逼着 点头， 无奈

有时候，我只想做回自己。

只因为，我沉默
并不代表 我不理

我用沉默言语
你听不见 不代表
这样并不可以

这世界 谁用规则
捆绑 这情绪

有时候， 我只想做回自己。

词曲：卢业淇

想写这首歌的源头来自与最近的一些感想。。
曾经熟悉的一个人，怎么不存在：
是在我回想起小时候总是一个人，很自在地画画，埋在我的工作坊里，做手工，玩我爱玩的东西，一个人，从不觉得是件什么奇怪的事。

别人熟悉的两个人怎么只有空白
我似乎很不了解别人所想要有的爱情，怎么是一个陪伴的工具

不曾熟悉的那些人被逼着点头，无奈
感觉，有时候，明明就没有很外向，但因为社会总是觉得热情的人好一些，所以大家隐瞒了好多真实的自己，在人群中逼出了不真实的笑容。

只因为，我沉默

并不代表 我不理

我用沉默言语

你听不见 不代表

这样并不可以

很想反抗这样的逻辑，

个性文静，不是个罪

朋友不多，并不代表有问题

所以就这么写了

这世界 谁用规则

捆绑 这情绪

我倒很好奇是谁让外向的人成了模范生

变成看齐的对象

因为曾经记得，自己并不是很外向的人，直到如今，想说一个人，是否很奇怪。

所以也不知道，从什么时候开始，总觉得，要去多认识人，专做这些很不自然的事。

只想提醒自己，一个人无罪。